Music is my Emotional Hard Disk
Right from when I was a child, music has always been a big part of my life. Hailing from a family of music enthusiasts, there was always something playing in the background at home, if my mom or grandmom weren’t singing, that is. As a child, I wasn’t fully aware why I was particularly fond of certain songs or why I’d continually replay some. Both in my head and outside, a million times.
Memories are a strange thing. When we remember strong, powerful, emotional incidences in our life we can usually recall alot of sensory details associated with it, like what we were wearing, who we were with, how the air smelt, etc. For me whenever I tried to recall such an event, there was always a song playing in my head along with the memory itself. Similarly the inverse was also true, when I listened to the song it would evoke all the feelings, emotions and related sensory memory I had subconsciously associated with it. Overtime I realized,
Music is the eternal thread running through my life, binding together my experiences and emotions.
Music is my emotional hard disk. It’s where I store my memories for safe keeping. It’s the place I return to, when I need help understanding and processing difficult experiences. It is my source of courage, compassion and deep living.
In my 20s, I also started associating people with songs. To the point that I have a song for each important person in my life now. However, this isn’t something I actively do. After I meet a person, spend time getting to know them and then as I go about my daily life sometime down the line I hear a song that I instinctively connect back to them. Fusing my emotional memory of the person with the song, forever. One of the reasons why I play some songs on loop while I stop listening to some others after some point in time.
Now that you know how the song libraries are organized and labeled in my head, I’d like to share with you some of the stored data from my mysterious music repository.
Track 1: Time by Pachanga Boys
This is a song of sun, sea and timelessness (contrary to the title). It returns me to a state of pure being. Something that I feel especially when I’m on a beach watching waves crash into the land, smell the salt in the air and run carefree along the sea. Quiet mornings of contemplation and solace on the beach, seeking refuge in the vast expanse of the sea during tough times and the promise of another beautiful sunrise. A constant reminder of the circle of life.
Track 2: The Future Is Now by GriZ
This song is all about my time in San Francisco in 2015. New unlikely friendships, skateboarding in SoMa, sipping coffee at Phils, discovering new dive bars, stimulating new work, walks along the pier, after dark nights at the exploratorium, boba tea, bus rides along geary street to eat the best asian food, brunch at plow, concerts at Mezzanine and more
Track 3: Mogoya by Oumou Sangaré
This song is for my current state of being. Winter, withdrawing inwards, renewal, rebirth, transformation, reclaiming my personal power, patience, persistence and self discovery. Movement towards a more authentic self.
If you have a similar way of perceiving the world through music, I would love to hear about it. Please leave a comment and let me know.